driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
