Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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