The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
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Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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