She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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