Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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