Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize