she was so not down for the gang bang
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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