just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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