I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
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How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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