she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My ass is underappreciated
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
