stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
