She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
