I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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