high people should be assigned attendants
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
