Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize