I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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