i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
