gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
