Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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