Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
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He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
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Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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