And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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