So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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