just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
