Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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