I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
