Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
