the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
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I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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