And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize