a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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