I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
