shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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