do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
