i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize