Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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