haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
