just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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