you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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