Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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