I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
