Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
