i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize