then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
