Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
