Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
