Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
