I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
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I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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