All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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