It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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