Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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