omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
