I'd wear matching sweaters with you
one might say we're banned from that church
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
