Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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