whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
my poor anus
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
