I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
