Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
