what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
