Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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