i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
