that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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